Modern medicine.

Dr. Nick’s patented treatment for a sartorius muscle strain:

1) Continue to aggravate strain by working more than usual at your walking-intensive job.

2) Adopt a fashionable limp which should eventually strain your hamstrings in your good leg.

3) Eat steak, drink beers and apply several icy hot patches randomly on your legs.

4) Smoke some pot, forget why you’re covered in hot patches, and pass out.

5) Repeat steps 1 - 4 until you have a day off to sit still and heal like a normal person.