This is why I DO NOT work all the time.

What a bizarre week at the restaurant. I can deal with "slow" cause I do less work and have less stress and we know nick is all about that. I am also fine with "busy" cause the time goes by fast and I walk out of there knowing I can pay all my bills. The last 2 days I've work have been a wretched combination of the 2.

Thursday was Thanksgiving. I spent mine at work which is fine. But in the middle of what was a seemingly good, mellow day, 3 Valley-sluts (all only about 20 years old with a three year old boy each) and their ambiguous paternal-type 60 year old fat rich man come in. The man tells my manager she is an idiot for trying to find out how many will be in their party, they refuse to conform to our very limited and expensive holiday menu, and they are all mentally incompetent. At the same time, the only other person serving has decided to stop taking tables, and 3 more tables walk in. I already have a few others who are now looking at me wondering why I haven't refilled their iced teas. And to top it off, these three 3 year olds are screaming. Not laughing, not yelling... Screaming. And their vapid teen mothers and senile grandfather (or whatever he is) won't do anything. I cant hear myself think and every other customer (cause its a smaller place) has complained. Long story short: I make sure they know how horrible they are, they get their bill long before they are finished (tip included in the total), and we get them outta there. Funny thing is, the old man gives me a crap tip but still on $300 that's a chunk, and doesn't realize gratuity is included. Dumbass. I make a lot of cash off that one, but honestly, I thought I was gonna walk out. Plus, since I closed, I got no food cause the kitchen shut down long before I was done. But fuck it, I averaged $51 an hour that day. So I went to Denny's.

Last night was supposed to be slow. So I'm ready for slow. Its the day after everyone gorges themselves with food and we have only 2 small reservations, so I'm chill. From 7pm to 8pm we fill the entire restaurant with walk-ins. There is only 3 of us and we are all going down. But hey, I got through it. Let me tell you something though: If your server looks busy next time you go out to eat, and he asks you if you are ready to order. DON'T LIE. The 10 minutes you take debating over your meal as if it were the most important decision you've ever made while I stand there waiting, is gonna come back to fuck you up. Because then I have to play catch up with all the angry people you have kept me from serving and chances are you will not see me again for a long time. Just say "We need 5 more minutes to decide." I wont care, in fact that's usually the best thing I can hear. I don't care if you sit at the table all night, I'm not going anywhere. Oh, and don't ask me my opinion just cause you want me to magically tell you exactly what you are in the mood to eat. Cause I'm gonna say steak, cause I'm poor and I don't eat it enough. If you want halibut, order it, don't read the description 5 times while I stand there after you have told me you are ready to order.

So yay for the holidays.

On the lamb.

I stole some guy's latte at Starbucks today. Not intentionally, of course. I wasn't paying attention and some very cheerful barista handed me a cup and told me to have a "super Thanksgiving." I'm the only one around, so I grabbed it and skidaddled. I really didn't even notice till I was driving away that the cup had Mike written on it, and tasted nothing like what I thought I had ordered.

Where was Mike?!? ... Fuckin' Mike. Why must you make me do such things?

one last thing

I've let a lot of stuff go. I've made peace with the situation to a point where I'm actually impressed by my adult-like actions. But...

FUCK YOU FOR MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO LISTEN TO TOM PETTY FOR A WHOLE GODDAMN YEAR!

God, such good music.

I live in crazy-land.

Now both mentally and physically! I am getting used to being here, I don’t really think about it much anymore. But sometimes, well constantly, I let my mind wander and start laughing at how unreal this place I now call home actually is. For those who aren’t in the know, I now live in Los Angeles, California. Well, lets be more specific--.

I now live in the smaller valley just Northwest of the L.A. Basin called the San Fernando Valley. Some people think that it’s all the same, but I’m starting to side with the opposite.

If L.A. is the girl of your dreams, then The Valley is her dumber, less attractive friend who you date instead cause you know she’ll give it up.

The term “Valley Girl” exists for a very real and annoyingly large population.

The average age is slightly older in The Valley though apparently no one has any idea how old they are. Literally no clue.

But it’s not all sunshine and lollipops and all that. No no. Tom Petty’s not-really-that-happy song "Free Falling" is a song about living where I live (written by a mopey pot head… coincidence?). Also, the disreputable suburban America which serves as the setting in all of those P. T. Anderson films (Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch Drunk Love, etc.) is, yes you guessed it, The Valley.

I’m not sure if all this makes me want to leave, but I do think it is very very funny.

Chop chop.

I cut the tip of my finger at work the other day slicing bread. Its not too bad, nothing a week of bandaids can't fix. It is, however, annoying as all hell and I cannot keep from banging my stupid finger into everything all the time. Which kills. And taking showers, forget it. I mean, for such a small injury, its really a son-of-bitch. Then I thought that this was a decent metaphor for how I've been feeling lately. All these bandages that keep getting in my way-- I am at the mercy of self-induced minor inconveniences.

Knives are sharp. Don't be a retard.

This is why I need to work all the time.

Today I bought a futon online. A new one. That will turn sleeping into a pleasant and rewarding activity once again. I’ve been fairly productive lately, though I do spend at least some of my normal day doped up either pretending I know how to cook or listening to music for hours on end. So there is balance. I’m spending money like I can afford to (which I can’t) and taking a break from extra work for a little bit (and losing any money I'd have made from that). I will not be surprised, though maybe a little upset, when I’m sucking dick for cash in the parking garage next to work so I can pay my cable bill on time at the end of the month. Life in the big city, just one dark alley BJ after another.

“Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.”

Simpsons. Lots of that lately. Cause I got a huge discount at the studio store on the Fox lot and I still didn’t have season 6 and it been out for forever! I know, I’m stupid. …stupid like a fox! … Ok- off to erase brain cells and then try to boil pasta.

Itchy brain.

Tonight I remembered something I think I've always known: That certain people are just completely and totally alike. ...Ok, not "I like watching movies, too!" alike. But, I mean more, created the same way, mentally. I hung out with an older co-worker tonight and despite the age difference, we not only viewed things completely the same, we seemed to process ideas in a way that I've only seen with a couple people I've known this far. But, I have seen this same me-personality (what a dumb phrase) enough separate times to feel justified in categorizing it. God knows I can't define it... I mean, wouldn't the be great, right? Knowing exactly who you were. But I do think encountering these people, who are in your same category, its gotta be helpful. If not just fairly interesting.

Welcome, me.

I'm contemplating moving my blog over here. I like the layout. ... Actually, I'm lying. I'm really just killing time before I either get some pot, or I fall asleep in my papasan. It seems to be one of those nights.